...a state of mind that pivots precariously on that fine line between self-absorbtion and responsibility.
In the land of faithful bloggers... yes, you may call me a Loser. Hands thrown in the air... I give in... you are right... 'tis I... a looooo-zah.... unrivaled in lamosity...
(that is the state of being lame, by the way...I just made it up)
So, for these, my shortcomings, which I know are far-reaching and pleantiful, I say...
sorry
But in yet another realm of consciousness, another frame of perception, I am... I am.
No, I have no philosophical insight, per se... no insighful treasure hidden in my shoe. But I have been... are you ready???????
Happy.
Euphorically happy. Self-absorbed in "the satisfied." Smiling happy. Not to be mistaken for giddiness (or perkiness, as per Sheryl)... This is better. Oh, yes... I still have the insatiable need to please others before myself... for the most part, but I've rediscovered a Belinda left behind. Following a three day mellowing with Tiffany (love you, sister) in Charleston, South Carolina... no kids, no husbands, no pets, no schedule... I made some amazing discoveries...
Did you know that I can still sleep until 10am? I didn't know that!! Tiff thought I was dead... and I went to bed completely sober, trust me. Also, somewhere over the years I forgot how to breathe. I mean REALLY breathe, like deep breathing... like from your toes or somewhere. And I can really RELAX. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
I spend too much time freaking out... does this surprise anyone? (Don't laugh, Gina and Mimi!)
I mean, I am who I am, and I'm okay with that. I just think it is okay to be not okay...at least a little bit. Anyone with me on this?
Even knitting... I'm jumping right in. Decided in like two seconds to start a sweater (I should say another sweater besides my green Cathay, which is coming along... I need photos of this, don't I?) I love the "Separation Sweater" in the book "Knits for All Seasons." Frogged the Eco Wool poncho...we're doing the sweater.
I hope you're not mad at me for abandoning you. I've been thinking of you often, honestly, I have. I've just been wrapping my brain around the mellow side a bit, and I like how it tastes.
More experiments in nirvana and knitting to come... perhaps I should remove the "festering head case" intro for a while. Any suggestions?? Hee hee.
Peace, love, and flowers ~ Bel
11 comments:
unfortunately i am all too aware i can sleep till 10 or even 12-i hate to get out of bed, not necessarily to be up in the morning, but to get myself out of bed is a killer. i'm working with my kids on this truth of mommy-they are coming along nicely.
if keeping up the blog is stressing you out, ditch it and don't look back-or apologize! life is short!!
Bel. you dont need to apologize! You go and enjoy your summer, as it sounds like you are. Isnt it amazing how summers make you feel. Warm, slow, and mellow.
Enjoy it while it lasts!!! :)
Love you
Welcome back. I've missed you. I used to love summers when the kids were younger - no schedules, no practices, no homework. Just sleeping in and playing in the pool all day. And isn't it amazing what a few days away from home and all the responsibility can do for you! Peace out, baby!
I think you need a Percocet washed down with a tequila shot. Call me in the morning.
I do the same thing! I just go through periods when I don't feel like blogging. But I think about it a lot, does that count?
Not only am I with you on your view of being not ok is ok, but I think you stole my shoes!!!!! Sometimes instead of freaking over small things I just freak just to be freaking! I think one good balistic-come-apart at least once a month is a clensing event! Almost as good as a Calgon bath, which I never have time for nor a tub that is big enough so that your whole body is in it at the same time! But anyway, Hi Belinda, glad you are still alive! Take care of you and of course of everyone else!
Bel,
Check out CNN they have been having some pretty good coverage of our fire. Today has covered over 400 square miles and some 300,000 acres. It is now the largest fire in the country and also the largest in Utah history.... it is heading away from us at the moment but have so many hot spots flaring up again that who knows from day to day. But should be able to find out more on CNN in your area. My mom did yesterday and she is in Mississippi... take care of yourself Bel.
The Ramones, like a good pair of Chuck Taylors, never go out of style.
I need new Chucks!
And I'm glad you got the chance to relax and sleep in. Nothing to apologize for, either.
Hey Belinda,
Pop over to my blog, I want your opinion on my loomed scarf. Should just email but I don't have your email... Blogspot needs a place for an email addy so I don't look like the dork I usually am by posting just because I want to say hi or something. I still just love this post though! I have been in the state of lamosity for about a week now! Anyway my email is RavenStardreams@aol.com if you so choose to email. That way when I am in total lamitude (my version of lamosity) I don't have to show it off to the world on your blog, but can just send you an email instead.
Take care!
Hello, I was wondering all week what lamosity means. Found the word on your blog. Please define! :) Thanks!
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